Back at number 1

Do you think that its so easy living day by day living without you by mys side ? Being comforted knowing that I have the one I love to come home to. Now I just come home to emptiness and lonely nights with out you. It must be so easy for you. Do you think of me every second of the day like I think of you? Or have you just given up all together on us ? 

I never wanted it to end this way, I never wanted us to end period. But I know as much as I loved you and cherished you that I needed someone who will cherish and love me back. Im not going to search for true love but I know its out there. I wish you were the one. I wish I could let you go and not think of you night and day. People tell me that you are not healthy for me; I know that because everytime I think of you I cant breathe. You suffocate me. Im so weak to your happiness and so vunerable to for pain. My heart bleeds everytime I say your name.

Why do I care to hope that someday you will get how wonderful of a person I was and regret that you decide to walk out of my life and leave me for good. Why cant I just walk away forever t o. You have no idea what you do to me. Endless nights of memorys with me and you's, should have, could have's...dying inside..crying my hear out I love you's...and still you dont budge. Im back at number 1; not knowing where this righteaous path leads me; and not knowing if it should lead me to you. Am I well enough with out you...do I really need you back ? Probably not, I dont know what I need. Your love and undivided affection that never ends. I know that day will never come than once agian we are back at number 1. I dont want to miss you and care about someone who is just willing to walk away from love. I dont to love greatly because the grander the love the more you get hurt. Why cant I just walk away and be happy and sure that is the right way to go. Why cant I be strong and why do I have to be? Why cant I just lay there night after night being hoplessly devoted to your internal hatered.

Monday, August 14, 2006